Billie Eilish is finally feeling at ease in her own skin. However, for the 20-year-old singer, who has struggled with her body image, it’s been a difficult ride.
While her present relationship with her body is “nowhere nice,” the “Getting Older” singer told the Sunday Times that it has lately improved.
“My relationship with my body has been a truly horrific, terrible thing since I was 11,” Eilish said, referring to her Tourette’s diagnosis. “I cherish the fact that my body is mine and that I can take it with me wherever I go. My physique is something of a friend to me. My unattractive companion! It’s a difficult situation. “However, what are your plans?”
Eilish’s baggy attire and neon-green dyed hair made her readily recognisable at the start of her career. Her unique manner, however, was not always well received by the general audience.
“Everything you do is bad and right,” she told a British publication. “No one is attracted to me because I’m wearing big clothes; I feel very unlovable, unsexy, and unattractive, and they blame you for not being feminine enough.””
Eilish made headlines when she appeared on the cover of British Vogue wearing a pink corset and platinum hair. Despite the fact that the issue was a smash and went viral on social media, individuals still found a way to criticise her.
“Then you put on something more exposing, and they say things like, “You’re such a fat cow whore.” I’m a slut and a sell-out, just like every other celebrity who sells their bodies, and woah! What the f*** are you looking for? “She recalled something. “It’s a crazy world out there for women, especially public figures.”
Despite having millions of fans, Eilish admitted that she “honestly doesn’t feel desired, ever.”
“I’m concerned that because I felt so unattractive, I may have pushed too hard to appear attractive at times. It saddens me to think about it “She confessed.
Eilish suffered from “crippling, life-changing separation anxiety” as a child. She couldn’t sleep on her own till she was 11 since she couldn’t be apart from her parents.
“I would scream until my parents came to the door if I woke up and they weren’t in bed and the lights were turned out.” In the dark, I couldn’t get out of bed because I was sure there were scorpions crawling all over the floor “she revealed.
She spends a large amount of time at her parents’ place these days. She “hates” being alone and has “stalker issues” that have made leaving her house frightening in the past. She was gripped by worry and worried that she would “never be able to do anything normal.”
“I believed I’d never be able to do all of these things in my life,” Eilish explained. “I wanted to stroll around and go get coffee and go to a restaurant and go to a park.”
Fortunately, the Oscar-winning musician says she has found her comfort zone in the last year “The world of ‘doing things’ became so much more accessible.
I don’t have to persuade anyone anymore that I am something.”
“Putting yourself out there in that sense is quite vulnerable,” she explains. “Here are all these secrets about myself, all these insecurities I have, and all the things I keep to myself.”