Humans and Cats: What Cats Really Think (According to Cats)
Greetings, People
We, your most amazing and unbiased cats, have had continuous relationship troubles with you that we’d like to fix as soon as possible. We’ve prepared a list of reliable scientific literature below. We hope it will assist you in bettering your behaviour.
When a meow transforms into a me-me meow
Your cats aren’t meowing to draw attention to themselves; they’re meowing to draw attention to your selfish “me, me, me” mindset. When you “had” to stare at your laptop screen for three hours because you’re “working,” that’s time your cat isn’t being petted or fed, which is rude, according to numerous studies.
Have you harmed the cats?
It is not the job of your cats to retract their claws; rather, every human in the house should wear thick, protective pants. When you tell your cats they can’t use your legs as scratching posts, you’re asking them to forego one of life’s greatest pleasures. This is the foundation of statistics.
Sometimes jokes aren’t simply about kittens.
If your cats accidentally step on your computer keyboard during an important video meeting, that’s a wonderful joke, and it’s up to you to laugh at it. It is not “destructive behaviour” if they knock your laptop off the table while doing so; it is simply commitment to the bit. Fact.
It is critical that your cats express themselves loudly, especially at 4 a.m. When you lock them out of your chamber, you also lock them out of your heart. According to evidence, a cat’s lack of sleep is precisely equal to a human’s lack of sleep.
Taking care of calico-dependent tendencies
Do not rely on your cats to meet unmet needs such as affection or to keep your glassware undamaged. However, if a cat is sleeping on or near you, it is better not to disturb them at any time (source: Health Canada).
Keep in mind that all debates should take place in a neutral environment.
Your cats frequently meet you where you are: in bed, on the toilet, or during a vital phone call. But how often do you come across them where they are: on a cat tree, a counter, or a windowsill? According to a recent poll, the answer is never. Come on, you’re human!
Are you a believer in fur-giving?
If anything breaks—say, let’s a bowl you previously praised as “the only decent thing I ever made in pottery class”—that bowl is unquestionably less valuable than the unbroken trust you have with your cats. “The bowl was uninteresting and immobile,” according to an unbiased investigation on the subject. Then it became unbearably fascinating for three seconds. It’s now in shambles. “It’s over with.”
Finally, remember to compromise wherever feasible.
Your cats provide you with entertainment, comfort, and the odd prey. In exchange, you should bring them food and unwavering loyalty. Remember, nine out of ten therapists believe you are incorrect and your cat is correct.
